The dark night of the soul story

As a personal brand, influencer, ‘conscious entrepreneur for purpose driven leaders’ —you need one, right?

It makes you relatable.
It makes you vulnerable AF.
It makes you increase conversions.

And the more intense the story is—the better.

We’ve all heard these:

  • The famous podcaster who used to live on their sister’s couch.
  • The Silicon Valley founder who used to scrounge nickels for food.
  • The #BossBabe who rose up from the abusive relationship to launch.

And listen, the resilience, the comeback story, it should be applauded.

But we have to be careful.


Because vulnerability can be used as a ploy.
Because vulnerability can be used as a ‘hack.’
Because vulnerability can be used as a gimmick.

Years ago —I witnessed this first hand.

I sat at a mastermind and listened to each for ten minutes share their dark night of the soul story.

And what I started to notice was each person that came up on stage —would one up the prior person:

The stories got darker.
The stories got more intense.
The stories got much darker.

And the same thing happens online as people retell their stories and start to blur the lines of fact and fiction.

So, yes…tell your story.

But be careful about using it solely as a marketing ‘hack’.

There are now people competing for who can tell a more intense story —so they can pitch their program, course or training.

And it comes across as inauthentic and performative.


Vulnerability comes in all shapes and sizes, including the narcissistic kind.

Vulnerability as as a hack never works long term.

Oh, and if I’m paying you to lead me —I don’t want to hear a sob story every time I come across your feed.

Maybe I’m weird like that 😉

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