We’ve all met the jaded self development junkie who is on a never-ending quest to dish our one-star reviews on Amazon and create fake blog posts on how every thought leader is a snake-oil salesman.

But how did they get there?

Here’s how to become a jaded self development junkie in 10 easy steps:

1. Have your ‘moment’ of discovery.

The first time you read Think & Grow Rich, The Secret or Gary Vee’s Crushing It and everything changes.

2. Attend Unleash the Power Within.

Get drunk off dopamine, 59 degree conference rooms —and bear-hugging the accountant who’s the next Elon Musk.

3. Come back to ‘normal’ life and chew everyone’s ear off.

Including the local barista —on how everything is going to change and you’re destined for the next Silicon Valley IPO.

BONUS: Buy an incredulous amount of whiteboards.

4. Have a post-event comedown.

This resembles the most vile hangover of your life—left in the fetal position as the “high” has worn off and you’re still working at Geico with Stevie from accounting.

5. Re-motivate yourself and get back in the game.

Use power hours, morning rituals, Dr. Joe Dispenza meditations, Abraham Hicks and enough kale juice to kill a horse. Plus, a little Wim Hoff to top it off.

6. Engage in the ‘Rollercoaster Effect’.

Short bursts of inspiration followed by disappearing for months. Start, stop, start…over and over again. Accumulate at least 19 domains on GoDaddy.

BONUS: Start a podcast on living your best life….for 6 episodes.

7. Consume to the point of information obesity.

Where you start thinking maybe you can teach this stuff —OMG! —since you can regurgitate how to live on purpose. Enroll in a course where you’re the teacher.

8. With so many ideas and little to no execution — you doubt yourself.

All the visions have amounted to zilch and you start to doubt yourself and the material. You scour Reddit and hang out with others who feel they too got scammed.

9. You start to see the “truth”.

As time passes, you realize: none of this stuff works —and everyone’s running a Ponzi scheme based on free e-books and upsells with pricey programs.

BONUS: Start a group with other jaded self development junkies.

10. Quit it all in a blaze of glory.

Have your Office Space-esque moment where you burn the tapes, sell the books —and become a cynic to the dreams you once had.

Congratulations, you’ve become a jaded self-development junkie.

Sure, this is a joke —but it’s more real than you think.

(I’ve met plenty of these people.)

And the reality is:

All the information this person consumed had the potential to create real change but:

They got “high” off the material and possibility —but never actually, you know, did the work.

(The work is unsexy, messy, sometimes boring, takes way longer than you want it to —and the dopamine is all but gone.)

And there’s nothing worse than being a walking encyclopedia on how to live a fulfilling life:

But not actually living it.
But not actually creating it.
But not actually embodying it.

It leads to doubt, procrastination, and a boatload of resentment towards oneself —and then others.

Don’t become a jaded self-development junkie.

It’s, uh, really…not a good look 😉

One response to “Become a Jaded Self Development Junkie”

  1. Steven says:

    Hilarious 🙂

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