“I’m 37 years old and I’m not where I want to be, look at what they’re doing.”

Who’s they?

“Well, people I went to school with who are achieving all the markers of success while I sit here and work on this dream.”

Well, I hear you, but:

Do you want what they want?
Would you trade places with them?
Is their life something that lights you up?

Every week, I talk to someone who is comparing themselves to the outside world —often to those they don’t even want to be like.

Make no mistake:

When you take an unconventional path, you will have moments of resistance, of a tug-and-war with your ego, and you will compare yourself to others.

(Contrary to life coach ‘influencers’ peddling Joseph Campbell quotes to the masses.)

The unconventional life is not for the faint of heart.

However, it is where you will experience jaw dropping moments of wonder, a feeling of aliveness, and if you do it right, the rewards of financial growth, abundance and options.

Today I wanted to share the biggest lessons I’ve learned from a decade in choosing an unconventional path and helping others do the same:

You will never feel ‘ready’ to do anything that matters to you.

When you feel both excitement and a little fear, doubt and uncertainty —you’re in the right place. The need to feel ready or have it perfect is a mechanism of the ego to make you hesitate.

You cannot, and will not lose, when you go for it.

Gabby Reece, former pro volleyball player and wife of Laird Hamilton spoke of this on the Academy: you will never lose when you go for it, even if it doesn’t “work.”

You chose the unconventional path for a reason.

The unconventional path is full of twists, turns, jagged ravines, dark corners —the unknown. If you wanted safety, err, the illusion of safety, you would have a clear cut path, that as Joseph Campbell says, is not yours.

You will sometimes wonder why you can’t get in line and be ‘normal.’

When you’re in a season of high growth, you will have moments in the valley where you’re experiencing resistance. You will ask yourself why you can’t be normal, why you can’t be like ‘them’ and fall in line.

All transformation and results are 88% emotional, 12% tactical.

You’re one funnel away, you’re one launch from sitting in paradise and deciding between a cold beer and a Margarita, right? 95% of coaches focus on tactics only, but they’re robbing you of truth: your transformation is 88% managing the emotions of growth, 12% tactical.

If you never practice feeling successful, you’re doing it wrong.

You want the $250,000 salary and the corner office for freedom. You want to triple your revenue for abundance. You want all of your goals for an emotional state. If you cannot tap into this today, you likely won’t get there, and if you do, it will feel so foreign to you that you may run away from it.

A bold and thriving life comes with real consequences.

You will experience rejection daily, people will mock you, critics and trolls from Section 419 will chug beers and order double plates of nachos and then tell you how much you suck, people you thought would support you don’t.

Clarity on your North Star vision is a daily muscle.

If you check Instagram, email, social media and the latest trending news —I hope you have 5-10 minutes to tap into your vision. Every day, this becomes your compass, a guiding light, a place to make decisions from.

Growth can be difficult, but regret is 100X worse.

Growth can be hard, but what’s the alternative? You stay where you are, emotionally apathetic, taking the conventional route and then wake up and you’re 77 years old wondering where your youth, dreams and ambitions went.

You will never be as free as you are right now.

Your favorite artist was their most “free” playing on stage to 29 people in a garage. Your favorite business owner was their most “free” building the startup in their parent’s basement. Your favorite creative was their most “free” when no one cared, You have nothing to lose.

Fear is waking up to a life that causes pain and choosing it every day.

This is fear winning: choosing something that is causing emotional pain that is real and raw, and yet, not doing something new. Not stepping into the unknown. Remember: you are choosing the life you are living, and so am I, every single day.

Work ethic is important but so is honoring and practicing divine timing.

Trust me, I love and thrive off deadlines —I woke up at 4:05 AM today with no alarm clock and no boss. I show up with intensity, drive, and lethal focus. But this is only one side of the equation, the other side is allowing. Unplugging. Receiving.

The process is not a means to an end; the process is the end.

If you cannot love the process on the way to the top, you will not last. Instead of seeing the process as a means to an end, what if it was the end? The process is going to change who you are and create purpose, meaning, fulfillment.

I share these with you because I have ‘failed’ countless times, I doubt myself at least once a week, I experience the same fear and resistance you do.

But instead of seeing it as a reason to stop —I use it as fuel to deepen my resolve and double down on bold action.

I’ll leave you with a quote from Chris McCandless:

“So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservatism, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more damaging to the adventurous spirit than a secure future.”

Which one of these connected with you?

One response to “How To Release Society’s Expectations”

  1. […] I work with someone who feels stuck, who feels they’re living a shadow life for other’s approval or who needs to make a massive change —I always turn back to questions for […]

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