There are two types of confidence, the brash, loud, egoic version and the humble —yet aligned version of confidence that moves mountains.

Here’s the deal:

Confidence is palpable.
Confidence is attractive.
Confidence is cultivated.

Often what we think is confidence is actually a masquerade of insecurity built solely on external approval.

Let me explain:

A couple years ago, I met someone with whom I’d shared mutual friends with in the entrepreneurial space.

We decided to go to lunch together and every moment was spent telling me how:

He’s doing 7-figure launches.
He’s on a rocket ship to success.
He’s crushing revenue and profit.

It was uncomfortable at how obsessed he was to make the point that he was successful.

And I sat there, taking this in, mostly out of context —I saw pain:

Pain of not being seen.
Pain of not being heard.
Pain of not being valued.

All I wanted for him was to drop the facade, so I took the lead about challenges and barely mentioned any success I’d created.

Why?

Because confidence is about being grounded in who you are without having to say anything:

It’s about being real.
It’s about being humble.
It’s about being grounded.

In 95% of conversations I have with friends, podcast guests, thought leaders—I lead with vulnerability.

(This is the best ‘hook’ to any conversation as it drops the bullshit and reveals humanness.)

Months later —this individual revealed he was having an existential crisis, his business was imploding and he was addicted to a substance.

I hated that I hadn’t broken the seal and called him out, because I would have loved to have that conversation.

  • Fake confidence is telling, real confidence is showing.
  • Fake confidence is outward, real confidence is inward.
  • Fake confidence is external, real confidence is internal.

We live in a world of fake confidence, of leaders who Tweet, of influencers who put up fronts, of people who preach —but don’t practice.

What kind of confidence do you have?

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