Whenever I work with someone who feels stuck, who feels they’re living a shadow life for other’s approval or who needs to make a massive change —I always turn back to questions for clarity.
Because questions create the container for a bigger life.
Open up deep clarity.
Open up radical honesty.
Open up new possibilities.
And of course —answering these questions requires the three ingredients of transformation, what I look for in any person:
Open to new ideas, ways of thinking, perspective about life that was one was previously closed off to as well as dropping the ego.
Ready to cultivate a level of truth, urgency and the-time-is-now energy required to turn insight into relentless action.
Willing to stumble, fail, face difficult emotions and stay consistent during the peaks, valleys and plateaus of growth.
When you have these three, which are quite rare —the magic happens.
(I stopped working with people who don’t have these in my coaching business.)
Let’s dive into the questions for clarity.
What would you do if you had two years left?
We tend to fill our lives with things we don’t want and chase careers that we want little to do with —this first question is designed to face mortality.
Mortality is one of the most precious tools to remember what really matters and that, as Steve Jobs said in his Stanford commencement speech:
Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.
To do this right —you’ll need to deeply imagine that you have two years to live and make a list of what type of things you would do during this time.
What would you do if you weren’t afraid?
There’s usually at least one thing in everyone’s life that they want to do but aren’t because they’re afraid.
Whether they’re afraid of someone else’s opinion or the fear of falling on their face after failure —we all have it.
Take a step back identity that one thing that’s been lurking underneath the surface, that your intuition has been whispering you towards.
What would you love to do even if you failed?
Imagine loving something so much that the process was enough —that even if you “failed” you would still do it with enthusiasm.
(By the way, you can’t technically fail if it brings you an emotional state of success.)
Instead of relying on external motivation to do the activity —you did it for the sake of doing it.
Not as some means to a future end, but the actual end.
Seeing these questions on a blog is one thing —but cultivating the time, energy and space to answer them is another.
If you do it right and set up an environment where you can truly “be” and think from a much deeper place:
The answers can shift everything.
One of the reasons we don’t take time to reflect and ask ourselves these bigger questions is simple: we may realize our lives are off track.
But isn’t that the point?
John from Reddit teaches all a lesson:
Time will pass, and much faster than we think —and it will all be over soon.
Answer these three questions for clarity and watch the magic happen.