You launched and it bombed.
You went after it and got told ‘no.’
You submitted and were rejected.

Make no mistake: to live an ambitious, thriving life means you will swing — and you will miss:

You will be told “no” often.
You will be told “pass” often.
You will be told “meh” often.

And during these times, after you’ve exhausted time, energy and effort into the creative work, the submission, the business —you will question it all.

You will ask yourself:

  • Why am I even doing this?
  • Why am I to dream this big?
  • Why can’t I just be ‘normal’?

And I’m here to tell you, despite the cute platitudes on Instagram saying “when one door closes, another opens” —it fucking sucks.

When, not if, this happens:

Allow yourself to feel sad.
Allow yourself to feel angry.
Allow yourself to feel upset.

These are normal emotions and part of the process, otherwise —these feelings will fester under the hood.

(And all emotions can either be used to create or destroy.)

As I’m writing this to you —I have recently poured my heart and soul into something that made perfect ‘sense’.

And to do so required immense amounts of time, energy, effort —and pushing priorities aside.

And yesterday I was told —no, thank you.

There is no doubt it knocked the wind out of my sails, and colored the rest of the day with questioning, doubt, overwhelm.

(Unlike most coaches, I am not afraid to admit this.)

And once the emotions subsided, once I allowed myself to feel anger, hurt, sadness, the desire for revenge —I remembered:

This is what you signed up for.

Because the reality is:

You cannot have a thriving, abundant, meaningful, emotionally riveting, on-your-knees life full of results, growth and options:

Without losing.
Without failing.
Without any risk.
Without rejection.

And remember:

Questioning it all leads to clarity.
Questioning it all leads to purpose.
Questioning it all leads to new skills.
Questioning it all leads to more resolve.
Questioning it all leads to digging deeper.
Questioning it all leads to betting on yourself.

As. Dr. Brene Brown says about being in the Arena of life —prepare to get your ass handed to you.

Today it will sting, it will hurt and it will bleed.

But tomorrow you’ll show up once again.

That’s what separates talkers from the committed, the amateurs from the professionals, the entitled to those who are “all in.”

When I ask clients about their last week’s challenges and they say:

“Oh, nah…I didn’t have any.”

Then I know they’re playing small.

When was the last time you questioned it all?

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