Last week in a span of three days I missed out on a six-figure-partnership deal and another training package that may have been worth double —I put in over 100 hours of effort on both.

This was free effort.
This was unpaid effort.
This was intense effort.

(All while writing a new book, serving a full roster of clients, a membership group and pursuing an MFA.)

Now, I share this not because you care about these details but because I feel those of us teaching this material —need to be more open:

Open about our losses.
Open about our failures.
Open about our hardships.

Why?

Because what I found after that experience was a reminder:

The most potent sign of growth is invisible —your comeback rate.

Your comeback rate is how fast you can come back to clarity, purpose and focus:

After loss.
After failure.
After rejection.
After losing clients.
After being told “no.”
After existential crisis.
After questioning it all.
After being mocked online.
After trolls coming after you.
After the one-star review you get.
After the passive aggressive comment.
After your co-worker berates your dream.
After you lose the ‘high’ of getting started.

And so today, I’ll share what I did last Thursday —which allowed me to come back in about two hours.

Step One: Allow

The first step is to allow yourself to feel your emotions without filtering them. In my case, I felt sadness I’d felt these two opportunities were aligned and I’d made a tremendous effort.

Step Two: Express

Once you’ve allowed your emotions, it’s time to express. There are may ways, but you can have a conversation, journal, do intense physical activity —or seek out advice.

Step Three: Leverage

Armed with clarity, you can now leverage the experience to serve your North Star vision —and make a new decision, choice or action to compel momentum.

This is how you comeback from failure.

Here’s the facts:

If you’re swinging big —you’re going to miss big.

So, what?

This is what you signed up for.

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